MY THOUGHTS AND TIPS ON BECOMING A MORE CONFIDENT PERSON

If you are one of the few and far between lucky ones who are born with confidence...hooray! But the reality is that the vast majority of the human population is not born with self-confidence. And if you ask those people in your life who have self-confidence about their confidence, I bet they will tell you that they have worked on it over time to build it up. Confidence is a skill that can be self-taught with a little bit of determination and intention.

I personally feel that I am a much more confident person today than what I was five years ago but I also know that I have a long way to go in terms of feeling like a fully confident person. Below I share my point of view on a few topics surrounding confidence and actions I have incorporated into my life that have helped me build my confidence.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Having clear knowledge on your strengths and weaknesses is part of being fully aware of who you are and being fully aware of who you are goes hand in hand with confidence. Learning what your strengths and weaknesses are takes time, attention and patience. Once you know your strengths work on nurturing them – if writing is one of your strengths then start a blog and work on perfecting your strength. If public speaking is one of your weaknesses but you would like to turn that into a strength then spend time working on your public speaking but do not spend more time on improving your weaknesses than on nurturing your strengths. Remember, always play to your strengths.

Thoughts

People have thousands of thoughts each day and unfortunately most of them are not positive. This is where awareness comes into play again, you need to be aware of your thoughts and keep those negative thoughts in check. I know we cannot completely get rid of negative thoughts because they are part of our nature, however, once we become aware of our thoughts we can shift those negative thoughts into positive ones. This may be hard at first but this is a skill that takes practice and I promise you that this exercise will become easier over time.

Gratitude

Showing gratitude every single day will instantly boost your confidence because it will ground you and make you think about the great things you have going on in your life. Many of these great things are easily overlooked because most of the time we think it is normal. For example, the coffee (or tea) you drink in the morning this is a simple action we take every day, but the truth is that we have to be grateful for that simple action since there are millions or even billion of people on this earth who do not have that privilege day in and day out.

Knowledge

Read, watch and listen! I am a firm believer that knowledge and confidence go hand in hand. Read books, watch videos and listen to podcasts. Like mentioned earlier, confidence is a skill that is built over time and gaining knowledge about your interests or learning about techniques to strengthen your weaknesses or listening to people who have overcome their fears will inject so much positive energy into your mind that it will overtime build your confidence and make you see life in a newer and more positive light.

Health

Keeping yourself healthy both physically and mentally is a foundational element in boosting your confidence. So, in short, exercise regularly, eat healthy, drink lots of water, get a good night’s sleep and laugh every single day!

How have you boosted you confidence and what tips can you share with those who are working on theirs?

4 MONEY LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED AFTER COLLEGE

I graduated college in 2010 and landed my first full time job about two months after graduation. Even at an entry level salary I thought I had “made it” but that ideology only lasted about a year until I realized that I needed to do more in the personal finance department. With that said, I still found a way to dig my student debt hole a little deeper when the little nerd that lives inside me decided she wanted to go back to school to earn a Master’s degree. So fast forward to about three and a half years after getting my Bachelor’s degree I also had a Master’s degree and a job where I had been promoted twice and my salary had almost doubled.  Yet, I still felt that my personal finance world was in need of some help.

Here was my situation: I had student loan debt that equaled my annual salary, I had a car loan that was about a third of my annual salary and I did not (and still don’t) have any credit card debt. I was fortunate enough to have parents that allowed me to move back home after college in order to focus on paying down my student loan debt. Also, here is an interesting fact, my monthly student loan payments equaled my parent’s monthly mortgage payments. YES, you read that correctly! Anyhow, I wish I knew some of the things I know now when I was a recent graduate.

Save, save, save

I wish I had gotten into the habit to save a percentage of each and every paycheck into a separate savings account. I now save 20% of each paycheck and I cannot tell you the difference that has made in terms of building a healthy emergency fund. Also, I recommend keeping this savings account in a bank separate from the one you use on a day to day basis.

Retirement savings

I did not contribute to my 401k for the first nine months of my first full time job and whenever I think back to that I kick myself! I know you have heard this advice over and over but it contributing to your 401k (or other retirement plan) is extremely important and the sooner you begin your contributions the better. And if your company has a matching program please, please take advantage of it.

Shop smarter

As a rookie full time employee with an entry level salary that seemed like a whole lot of money I definitely overspent on shopping for clothes, shoes, handbags and so on. I recently went through a closet detox where I felt like I was literally throwing cash money into trash bags! Side note: the clothes were donated. Now I think of quality over quantity and not only that but I also only buy clothing if there is either a promotion going on or if it is on sale. I worked at Banana Republic for 5 years so I know it is not worth it to pay full price for clothing.

Use credit cards wisely

I have one credit card, that’s it and I use it on a regular basis but I do not, I repeat, do not carry a balance on it. At one point a few years ago I had a balance of $600 and you all may laugh at me but I could hardly sleep at night knowing that I had an outstanding balance – I paid those 600 bucks as soon as I could and vowed to myself to not carry any credit card debt anymore. I believe the point of a credit card is to help you build your credit and not to use it to buy items with money you do not have. While it is tempting buy new and shiny items, it is not worth it.

What have you learned about money after college? What are some things you know now that you wish you knew then?

Gift Guide For The Book Lovers

Buying gifts is easy but buying meaningful gifts can be pretty hard and with the holidays right around the corner you may be brainstorming gift ideas for your loved ones. I am a big believer in giving meaningful gifts – like a gift that keeps on giving (I know, cheesy!) but books are great for that and luckily there are so many incredibly great books out there for all sorts of needs, wants and tastes. Today, I’ll be sharing books that have read over the last few years that have really made an impact on me and that I highly recommend to my friends and family.

The Body Book by Cameron Diaz

This book is great for the person who is looking to live a healthier lifestyle and not necessarily in the form of nutrition (even though that is a huge factor) but it inspires you to love your body and treat it well. This book is filled with important and useful information that you can use to become a healthier person – mind, body and soul.

The Green Beauty Guide by Julie Gabriel

Part of living a healthy lifestyle is not just how many times you work out or what you eat but also about fully understanding the ingredients in what you eat AND in the products we use on our bodies (makeup, lotions, shampoo, nail polish, etc.). This book is for the person who will find an interest in learning about the harmful chemicals that are added to products we use in our everyday lives. This is a book I always keep handy and use a reference guide pretty often when contemplating a product purchase.

The Happiness of Pursuit by Chris Guillebeau

This is an interesting and fun read (I read it while on vacation to Costa Rica a year ago) so it is a bit nostalgic for me! This book really takes you into a world of journeys and quests and inspires you to take risks and be curious about what else is out there for you. This is a great book for someone who is searching to find more meaning to their life, this books provides a good foundational guide that anyone can use to begin taking steps towards the life they envision for themselves.

The Best Advice I Ever Got by Katie Kouric

This book is a collection of essays written by celebrities, politicians, authors, etc. and it is a fun and encouraging read. I like that this book keeps it relatively light and it is a great book to read whenever you are need of some uplifting positivity. This may be a great book for someone who is beginning to read books on empowerment and positivity.

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

This book was given to me by an employer after a team training while I was still in college. Maybe since it was the first book of its kind I had ever read – it made such a big impact on me. While it was definitely a sad book it makes you realize how important it is to live a life that provides a positive impact for yourself and those around you. This book is full of inspiration, a lot of great advice and would make a great gift for almost anyone on your list.

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

And last but not least, I could not do a book round up without including Big Magic. This is my most recent read (I actually have about 15 pages left) and I cannot tell you how glad I am to have picked this book up. Big Magic encourages you to embrace those magical moments in your life – some of them are very obvious but others can be easily glossed over, it also encourages you to embrace whatever you are passionate about and to make sure you incorporate whatever makes you happy into your everyday life. This is a must read for anyone (or everyone) on your list.

Do you have book recommendations? Any good books you have read recently that were a gift? Share below!

6 Simple Ways to express gratitude every day

I do not know about you but I cannot believe how quickly this year has gone by. I feel that every year I get older time seems to pass by faster and faster – could it be that life just gets busier and busier? Very possible. Now that we are entering the holiday season we get a chance spend more quality time with friends and family which also gives us time to wind down and reflect on our year – the good times and the bad. It seems that sometimes we tend dwell on the bad times because it is hard not to but we need to train ourselves to always look on the bright side of things. One of the ways we can train ourselves to look at the positive side is to learn how to regularly express gratitude for the good things and good people in our lives. Showing gratitude comes from within and it is a fundamental way to feel at peace with yourself and also be in a good place to outwardly express that.

journal it

I am sure you have heard of this one before and it is because it works! This is an exercise that takes 2-3 minutes out of your day and it is such an easy way to keep track of the small things that happen in our daily lives that puts a smile on our face. Remember when we used to journal about the good things that happened to us in elementary school and remember how we think back to our childhoods as being one of the happiest in our lives? Yes, journaling the good things works.

stop complaining

We get caught up on the things that annoy us or the things that do not go as planned and when we complain about negatives all we are doing is feeding that negative energy. And we do not want that! So the next time your mind begins to complain about this, that and the other put an end to it right then and there. We know that to every negative there is a positive and even if you have to dig deep to find that positive, find it!

show some respect

Respect for yourself and respect towards others. Respect for yourself can come in the form of how you feed yourself and how you keep your body active – these positive actions you can take for yourself are simple ways of showing gratitude to your body, mind and soul. A good rule of thumb when it comes to respecting others is to treat others the way you want to be treated – and when you respect yourself respecting others becomes that much easier.

praise others

Congratulate someone for a job well done, cheer them on as they reach for their dreams, be a positive role models to those around you. These actions will not only make you feel good but will also provide encouragement to those around you – and who doesn’t like that?!

give back

Last but not least we can show gratitude to our communities by volunteering or time and energy for causes that we hold near and dear to our hearts. This is something we can do all year round but especially during the holiday season we can (and should) make some time to give back to our communities.

smile

Last but not least, always rock a smile on your face – it is contagious! Smiling will instantly lift your mood and spirit and it is not only one of the easiest things to do but you will also find that you will influence others to also smile more often.

How do you show gratitude and appreciation for others? What came naturally to you and what did you have to work on over time?